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The Film Festival
by Alec Kitroeff
Josip Djugashvili, the president of Garbejistan (a tiny republic wedged between Armenia and Azerbaijan), in his desire to improve his country’s cultural image, orders his prime minister to organize a film festival. In due course, there are ten films competing for the festival’s Golden Goat award, and the prime minister reads out to the president a summary of the story line of each film, giving the opportunity to the author, Alec Kitroeff, to exercise his wry humor in describing such events as the loss in a tsunami by Indonesian anthropologist Wam Bang Tenku Mam of the Egyptian mummy he was working on; the murder of Boutros Boutros Habibi, the exiled leader of Egypt’s Coptic Christians, in a British country mansion by Fatima Falafel and her brothers; the longing by a young nun of having her “marriage” to Jesus Christ consummated; the appeal by Poveretto Minestrono, a Miami pasta manufacturer, to Mafia boss Constipato Contralto to rescue his daughter from the hands of low-life kidnapper Spermatozo Spumante; the failure by the elder ugly sister to capture the heart of Prince Charming because of her big feet; and a few more guaranteed to bring a laugh or at least a happy smile to the reader.
About the Author
Alec Kitroeff was born of Greek parents in Alexandria, Egypt, in 1925. During Word War II he served in the British and Greek navies and, after the war, in the merchant marine on Greek-flag Liberty ships. In 1953 he became a correspondent for Hearst’s International News Service, covering Greece and the Middle East, and in1958, when INS was sold to the United Press, he became a PR and advertising executive. His son, Alexander, is an associate professor at Haverford College and his daughter, Mary, is an accomplished translator. He has travelled widely in Europe and on world cruises since the death of his wife in 1983 after a long illness. His other works include Greeks that Never Were, The Bananaless Republic, and The Dinosaur Years. All three books are collections of humorous columns by the author which appeared in the now-defunct English-language monthly published in Athens entitled The Athenian.
(2012, paperback, 40 pages)