by Bella Robichaud
Touch me again, I will tell…well…daddy wait…
Feeling a breeze, sunshine and smelling the earth are strong natural wonders that we take for granted. These elements are sweeter at certain times in our lives than others but constant powerful forces within our naturalness. We can feel happy for someone rather than jealousy, we can praise or criticize. Either way, we have an effect on them that can last forever. Being able to say no instead of yes because we feel obligated is emancipation. Tasting the sweetness of water, letting a snowflake fall upon our tongues is an awakening of innocence. Sense of taste determines our flavor of the world and allowing the flake to melt within our mouths is accepting its acquiesce. Giving love and allowing oneself to feel loved without being suspicious is a frightening experience. A child taking his first steps as he reaches for mother’s finger or accepting a gift for no special reason, begins with trust, and if that trust is violated, how do we go on to enjoy the curiosities we unearth through natural maturation, face our fears, and satisfy our needs without guilt?
This story is about surviving incest. Sharing my recovered memories provides the power towards mending a shattered family by releasing the secrets that bound us together in shameful dysfunction. It is also for those who will feel affronted by the subject matter, challenged by their own memories emerging, and even for those who will remain in denial.
My strongest personal relationship was with mother. My greatest love was father, and on some level, this remains true. This book is a source to give insight of a continued love for a man who not only violated my flesh but liberated my mind. The process of writing has invoked memories of violence and intimate love between parent and child, man and woman, father and daughter.
This story contains graphic situations. I wanted to offer another view of love, though it may be hard to understand. It is the love of a child, then turned adult that needed to fit in the best way it could under extreme circumstances of mental illness and violation within a family history of such mutability, yet found forgiveness possible. It is a sequence of events that are understood through minds that have experienced such parental passions and perhaps to be healed by those studying such dysfunctions.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Bella Robichaud lives with her family near Pensacola, Florida. Bella has involved herself with local community clubs and remains a dedicated voice to children in need. She and her children enjoy gardening, nature and the science of all that grows in the world. This is her first published book.
(2006, paperback, 248 pages)
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